


Like a gentle glow of fire in the darkest night

by Pomelofangirl



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley's Sunglasses (Good Omens), Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Seemingly Unrequited Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: Crowley wears the sunglasses because without them, Aziraphale is too bright for him to look at.Until one day he doesn't.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 90





	Like a gentle glow of fire in the darkest night

**Author's Note:**

> This story came to me when I was wearing sunglasses after years of not doing that and then that of course made me think of Crowley, and A/C. So here it is.
> 
> It's gay but also there's some metaphors about shining and stuff. 
> 
> But this story wouldn't see the light of internet if it weren't for many people in fact. Special thanks goes to all my friends who heard me complain abt the intricaties of English language and the difficulty of fic posting in general, especially on discord.
> 
> This story would be a mess and definitely not as good if it wasn't for my beta @organicgold. Thank you again for hearing me complain abt dumb english stuff and for all the advice you gave me. The reason this fic is as good as it is is because of her, and words cannot describe my gratitude for your time and effort to make it readable to others.
> 
> Please enjoy reading <3

The world is slightly darker, in some way. Certainly the sun doesn't shine as bright as it used to when he looks at it, compared to when he didn't wear sunshades.

When Aziraphale asks him in Rome at the oysters after they both had some wine, "And what are those things you have on your face Crowley?" the demon doesn't privilege him with an honest answer. He just mutters "fashion statement" and leaves it at that.

In the beginning it was only that, really. The sun was unbearable and some people did wear those glasses. But as centuries went and Crowley changed his surroundings to the much colder England and British Isles in general, he didn't need to have them. Summers were chilly and mostly he'd redirect the rain away from him at some unfortunate humans rather than have a real need for sunglasses.

It wasn't until their meeting in 500AD that Crowley noticed that Aziraphale shined. And not only because he was the White Knight. Crowley supposed this had to do with him being an Angel of the Almighty. To remind other people (and demons especially) that they didn't shine. That they weren't special. That only the Angels of heaven could shine the light in the darkest of hours.

Crowley noticed that on another occasion in the Middle Ages, aside from the knights. They began the arrangement and met in the middle of the night so Crowley could see that Aziraphale does thwart people as he should, and in turn Azirapahale would see that Crowley's miracles don't deviate from the norm. In the middle of the night just as Aziraphale did one of his first successful trial demonic thwarts, Crowley noticed that the angel shone. He shone like a sun in the middle of the night. It was after that encounter, after the angel just continued to shine and went about his actions like nothing happened, that Crowley decided that he'll stick with the sunglasses even at night and inside the buildings, even if they weren't necessary from the human's point of view.

Aziraphale's brightness was unbearable, too light, too intimidating. (Too magnetic, like something natural brought him to Aziraphale whenever they met, or when he needed to save the angel from temporary discorporation.)

In time he became addicted to the brightness. As if it was his life force.

They were in France in 1791, on crepes. After Aziraphale finishing eating he said: “As far as I know those aren't fashionable anymore. why do you keep wearing them, pray tell?"

"Well, angel. They allow me to see that the world is a bit more brighter than I usually see it. Kind of a reminder that there are better things, even if it doesn't look like it at first." he says this and it's not exactly a lie. But what he doesn't say, can't ever won't ever say is the truth, that they help him keep the balance when Aziraphale is around, so he doesn't blind him with his holiness and brightness.

"That's awfully optimistic of you. For a demon I mean." Aziraphale said as he nursed his glass of wine and looked into the distance.

"Well I am an optimist at heart, but what they really do, angel, is help me see the goal of my job. To make the world as dark as I see it." what he really means is _It's to make you shine less, to make you stop reminding me that I am not holy nor will I ever be, to remind me that we shouldn't meet that often_ _(_ _and yet we still do)._ but Crowley doesn't say that. Contrary to the popular and stereotypical belief he doesn't want to corrupt the angel. Perhaps, deep inside he wants to emit some kind of light as well, to shine just as bright as Aziraphale shines to him.

. . .

Crowley is fiery. It probably has to do with his attitude. His flaming hair and flamboyant demeanor. He is alight like a fire. A fire that Aziraphale is inevitably drawn to. The thing about fire is that it is dangerous when you touch it. Especially for an angel, especially if the person of your choice can breathe hellfire at will. So Aziraphale tries to stay away, really. He knows it's _good_ to stay away. But like a moth to a flame he's drawn to Crowley and fascinated by him like children are with seeing a fire burn for the first time. He likes to be in the proximity of it. His warmth is comfortable, something he never felt or considered before. Certainly so different from the coldness and indifference of the other Angels he knows in Heaven.

One day Crowley dares to take off his sunglasses. It's in the church bombing. The fire is spectacular and he wants to see it closer. In reality he wants to see if Aziraphale's brightness is still as blinding as it was centuries ago.

The angel still shines all right. _He wouldn't be an angel otherwise_ Crowley thinks. But it's less blinding now than it used to be. There's a gentle glowing hue around him as if a light showing your way in the dark rather than the blinding lights of the train coming your way.

Crowley thinks he could look at him forever like this. Even without the sunglasses. But that is only if Aziraphale keeps his neutral expression. Once he smiles - because Crowley saved the books he knew were important to him and he knew that the angel would forget about them - Aziraphale smiles so brightly that Crowley can't take it without his sunglasses.

“Shut up.” he says, as he puts the glasses on. But what he really means is _stop shining so bright_ _ly_ _you're intimidating me again._ _A_ _nd I didn't want to be reminded of that again after 100 years of not seeing you._ But Aziraphale's brightness doesn't subside even after the lift home, and after he sees him off to the bookshop.

Aziraphale realizes he loves two things about Crowley in 1941. He realized that he loved the demon sometime when he was asleep in the 19th century but after Crowley saves him again Aziraphale realizes he loves:

1)Crowley

2) His eyes.

Crowley stopped being a dangerous fire to him long ago. When he realized he can really extinguish him with holy water permanently, the metaphor didn't seem as appropriate or romantic as it was at first. Now he was... just there. A companion in this world, his best friend.

Aziraphale adored his eyes. They were hazel with a depth that is unseen anywhere else, unique to Crowley. The pupils were snake-like at times but that's what made the angel love him even more. Whenever Crowley took off his glasses in his presence Aziraphale felt privileged. He couldn't stop staring at him whenever he saw his eyes, which wasn't often since he insisted on wearing sunglasses everywhere he went.

. . .

They addressed this issue after the apocalypse.

_Crowley isn't wearing his glasses at home,_ Aziraphale noticed. The angel was drunk on many things. The wine they shared at the bench in Tadfield. The happiness that the earth made it, and they can enjoy it for the foreseeable future. The fact that they're in Crowley's home and together. And perhaps these are the last moments they share and he just needs to ask, because Crowley was wearing sunglasses since they were invented (if he didn't invent them himself), and Aziraphale wanted to know why so he asked:

"So, no sunglasses at home?"

"No, angel."

"Why are you wearing them in the first place? They are out of fashion and it must be pretty difficult to see in the night, wouldn't you agree?"

"I told you already. They distort reality. Make things appear darker than they really are," he says pointedly and looks at Aziraphale with a look.

"Does that apply to me as well?" he doesn't know why he asks, if Crowleys expression is anything to go on it's obvious but somehow he feels it's necessary to ask this.

"Ah, you don't realize it, do you?" Crowley made a gesture to correct his sunglasses but he wasn't wearing them so he just turned his gaze away.

"Realize what exactly?"

"You heavenly lot shine very brightly. It's maddening and I don't think it's very healthy either," he says almost bitterly but not quite.

"I do?"

"You perhaps... angel... shine brightest of them all."

It wasn't a lie, but then again Crowley rarely lied to the angel. He didn't remember his time in Heaven that well, and how exactly other heavenly beings shined. But Aziraphale was the best of them all, so he probably shined brightest as well.

"Especially when you smile," he pointed a finger at him accusingly.

Silence fell.

It was then Aziraphale realized two things.

1)He loved Crowley.

2)If Crowley was fire, then Aziraphale was the oxygen, and the fuel making the fire as light and bright as physically possible. Helping him shine.

"It's love, Crowley," he says, silently but contentedly.

"What?"

"It's love. Because I love you. Everytime I smile I try to hide how much I love you. Because I thought I couldn't do it until today, you understand but heaven knows anyway but what does it matter really? I love you Crowley. I have since at least a century if not more."

"What? What what what does it mean?” Crowley spluttered in shock, and then added: ”What do you mean you love me? Don't all angels shine bright to intimidate the demons? To let them know that you're better than the fallen ones? The ones which can't feel love? Isn't that what this is all about? Endless torment and suffering?”

"It's not actually." And Aziraphale holds his hand. "Perhaps it was so at the beginning, but it's been a while. And besides, I know it sounds crazy, but I love you. That's what it is all about. This is why I shine brighter when I smile because I can't hide how much I love you, my dear.”

It's then it makes sense. Aziraphale, the Angel made of love. Crowley, the demon unable to feel love but still being able to sense it. Aziraphale diminishing after a while after the arrangement but shining bright when he sees Crowley because he still has that love inside him. Perhaps he loves Crowley more than all the things on Earth combined, but they have time to discuss it another time. For now they have to figure out how to outsmart their bosses and show them that they are on their own side.

. . .

Heaven was most striking to Crowley, in many ways. From being there after such a long time, and the things they planned to do to Aziraphale. And yet what Crowley first noticed was that... the Angels there didn't shine. At all. Their surroundings were bright sure, the white walls and transparent windows reminding him of the brief time he had a minimalist phrase. But none of the Archangels shone at all. Perhaps that told him something about the supposed love they felt for the world.

Namely that they had none.

. . .

Hell was cold and damp and dark, so unlike Aziraphale ever imagined. He also noticed that despite it being hell it was cold and none of the demons emitted warmth like Crowley so often did. He just wanted to get back and tell him about it.

. . .

The Dinner at the Ritz on the first day of the rest of their lives is the last time Crowley wears glasses in Aziraphale's prescence when not in private. He grew to embrace the brightness, to not be afraid of it, especially as he realized that it was meant for him exclusively.

Aziraphale looked into his eyes for hours. He loved them so much and could never get enough of them, he wondered how did he manage to do without them for 3000 years.

They both see the light in one another. One that could never fade as long as the world exists, and even beyond then.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic pls let me know, any form of feedback my fics get is precious to me :D


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